Juneuary

keyholes between clouds
permit glimpses of summer
sun brightens puddles

Light

in its place the sun roils
immense and unfathomable
sending photons hurtling toward earth

that eight minutes from now
she will not notice
as she drives home
trembling
weeping
regretting

instead of seeing
this moment
in all its perfection

only later will she sit
and breathe
and feel the light upon her skin
and when she does
nothing will be fixed

and she will bow
to everything that can't be fixed

Heartbeat

every heartbeat has
a soaring spike, then a dive
electricity
racing dizzily along
fibers that will die one day

Apple

first bite of apple
teeth tearing into sweetness
light upon the tongue

Sunset

near to the solstice
a gash across the twilight
sunset spurting blood
she stops to write about it
and looks up to find it gone

Dancer

I'm sure he doesn't know
how graceful he is

the sharp angle of his elbow
suspended in air as he taps the buttons of his calculator
is ineffably simple and lovely

I watch him and I doubt
that he knows what it is to be connected
to trade electrons

so fluid and aloof, my beloved
perhaps I think he's dancing
because I only catch him in glimpses

Ejection

this body is only a seatbelt
that unbuckles with disquieting ease

it happens all the time: 
ejections and rough landings
and muffled slippings away

sudden or drawn out
things come undone
or are purposefully cut loose

some go barreling toward the end
the rest of us wait our turn

while telling ourselves
we're not in line

Happy and Thankful

she knows his influence
has altered the course of her life
and left it entirely the same
she is happy and thankful

she knows she wants to see him
wants his accent in her ears
his body in her bed
she is happy and thankful

she knows she may never see him again
because life is unpredictable
and everything is temporary
she is happy and thankful

she knows she misses her children
still feels inadequate and bereft
over the custody battle she lost
she is happy and thankful

she knows the next time she sees them
she will hug them tight and buy them smoothies
then she will drop them off to their father
who may be neutral, or cruel, or chatty, or sneer at her
she is happy and thankful

she knows she may cry on the way home
or may scream and think about driving off the highway
before returning to her breath
and arriving home safe and calm
unless someone else's driving kills her anyway
she is happy and thankful

she knows she is the Buddha
and she doesn't understand that at all
she is happy and thankful

She Observes Her Lover

she observes her lover
as though through a microscope

scientifically
noting the details:
he's grown a cowlick
and three small folds of fat where he bends
and another bike chain bracelet

he's sprouted parts that dismiss her
and parts that cling

tonight he bit her
peppering her limbs with marks
that faded the next moment

she escaped herself and returned
with a soulsmack

she'd been trying to absorb him
hindered by his wholeness
she'd been trying to mix
like two colors of paint

because so often he is new
and it is easier to change herself
than to stumble upon him
changed

Deep Time

the time before we are born

and after we have died

is so entirely vast

that we basically spend no time being ourselves

and all of time being everything else

our lives are blips

too tiny to comprehend or measure

we are just atoms 

moving about

because nothing stands still

Shorebird

his fingers skim her body 
like a shorebird tracing the water's surface 
the lake rises to his touch